The Perception Monster

We all love a good underdog story. Where an individual or a team is facing odds that are long and hope that is short. In the movies, there is usually a motivational speech that lights a fire under our hero followed by a music montage that shows our hero finding a new level of performance they did not know they had. Most of the time, they win the game, get the girl, or save the world. All of the time, there is at least a moral victory that they became more than they thought they could be. 

Why do we love underdog stories? I think it is because we see someone overcoming their perceived limitations to achieve something previously thought impossible. If we’re honest, I think all of us have a Perception Monster, a limiting belief about ourselves that impacts our ability to fully realize our potential. 

The Perception Monster dampens our confidence in our mental, physical and emotional capacities. Have you ever told yourself that “you’re not smart enough” or “you don’t have the capacity for love”? If you have, you’re not alone. I’ve told myself both those things. That is the voice of the Perception Monster holding you back. The Perception Monster’s goal is to keep your perceived mental, physical and emotional capacity as low as possible. 

I wish I could answer why the Perception Monster exists, but I haven’t found an answer to that question yet. I know that the Perception Monster loves when we compare ourselves to others, when we don’t forgive ourselves, and when our mistakes begin to shape our identities. 

How do we overcome the Perception Monster? I’m still learning the answer to that, but I know it is a daily battle. Reversing the things mentioned above is a great place to start. 

Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is hurtful with either outcome. If you compare yourself to someone you think is better than you, you will ultimately feel worse about who you are. If you compare yourself to someone you think you’re better than, you will feel better about who you are and become calloused and prideful. Comparison is a lose/lose situation. The only person you should compare yourself to is who you used to be.

Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do. For some, I believe it’s like starting a new life and putting the past behind. I’m not the best reference on this subject, but if this is something you’re struggling with, seek help. Find a friend or a therapist who can help you forgive yourself for whatever you think you’ve done. 

Failing doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you human. Mistakes happen. The healthiest way to view them is as learning opportunities. This idea is fundamental to Carol Dweck’s book Mindset, which I highly recommend exploring. 

We have the choice to feed the perception monster or let it starve. We also influence others’ Perception Monsters. I hope that we learn to starve our perception monsters and overcome our perceived mental, physical and emotional capacities. I’ll discuss this more in the future because I think how we deal with our Perception Monsters is foundational to achieving our goals. Be on the lookout for a post about rewarding effort vs. rewarding results and how that impacts perception monsters.